


share this room with you

by DeepComplaint



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Vulnerability, M/M, Pre-Episode: e051-057 The Suffering Game Parts 1-7, some good good insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22142971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepComplaint/pseuds/DeepComplaint
Summary: It’s their sixth date, maybe seventh if you include Chug ‘n’ Squeeze. So, at this point, he can sense when the evening is drawing to a close. He knew what would happen now. Taako would untangle his arm and blithely make his excuses and ask to be taken home any second now and Kravitz would go to his apartment and think about what he should have said differently.Taako pours two glasses of Malbec. Kravitz takes a look around the Reclaimers’ apartment.
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 115





	share this room with you

**Author's Note:**

> This one comes from me listening to Billy Joel’s [“And So It Goes”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcUCYtyaLrY) and then thought about Taako forcing himself to be emotionally vulnerable and I had to write about it. So, that’s what the title is from. The music Taako plays for Kravitz is Dvořák’s [Serenade for Strings in E major](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7psI60ZCOdw), mostly because it created the kind of mood I was looking for.

Kravitz cut a portal to the hallway outside the Reclaimers’ apartment, not willing to assume he’d make it into Taako’s room. That was the implication when they’d finished their leisurely stroll after dinner, but Taako seemed more wound up than usual. His shoulders were a rigid upright line instead of the casual slouch or sly lean that Kravitz had grown used to. 

They’d been walking in a park in Neverwinter, Taako’s arm linked around Kravitz’s elbow. Taako was making idle remarks about Kravitz’s account of a particularly harrowing bounty of a sapient cat raising mice from the dead to chase them again.

“Let me tell you, the family of that cat was _displeased_ when I came to get their ‘precious Ginger’. I would not repeat that afternoon for love or money.”

Taako laughed and smiled the way he does right before he— “See, I thought cats were all death criminals for the whole nine lives thing. Whodathunk it would be a healthy sense of competition?”

Kravitz fought to keep a neutral expression. “No, the Raven Queen is fine with the nine lives thing. Kind of out of her jurisdiction.”

Taako did a double-take and caught Kravitz fighting back a smile. “You almost had me on that one. If only you didn’t suck at charisma rolls.”

“I will remind you,” Kravitz said, his free hand perched indignantly on his chest, “that I am a bard and I have plenty of charisma, thank you.”

Taako grinned. “Now, on _that_ , you could have fooled me.”

Kravitz chuckled, gaze locked on Taako’s sparkling eyes. “Rest assured, it’s never my intention to deceive you.”

 _Fuck_ , he thinks, feeling Taako’s forearm clench against his own, _got too complacent, too comfortable._

It’s their sixth date, maybe seventh if you include Chug ‘n’ Squeeze, which Kravitz doesn’t because he didn’t know it was a date until Taako put his hands on Kravitz’s and he caught fire. So, at this point, he can sense when the evening is drawing to a close. Taako always smiles wider, all teeth, always withdraws from the conversation, always says, “Well…” and Kravitz always feels his stomach tighten and sink, a reaction that he had never had need to train from his construct. Disappointment wasn’t really a factor in his job.

He knew what would happen now. Taako would untangle his arm and blithely make his excuses and ask to be taken home any second now and Kravitz would go to his—apartment is probably the closest word—in the Astral Plane and think about what he should have said differently. 

It was intoxicating to be near Taako, felt like experiencing the world for the first time. And it was more than reacquainting himself with the attractions of Faerûn or tasting foods he’d never had or hadn’t had in hundreds of years. It was embarrassingly like getting caught up in the excitement of being a teenager on their first dates. 

Hence the ache in his chest when Taako said, “Well, bubelah, as much as I’ve enjoyed the night air,” and started to extract his arm from the loop of Kravitz’s elbow. “I think it’s time to head in.”

Kravitz grasped Taako’s fingers with his other hand, kissed his knuckles and said, “It’s been my pleasure,” and tried not to let his disappointment climb into his throat. “I’ve had a wonderful time, as always.”

But where Taako generally bared his teeth and winked and flirted distantly, he considered Kravitz and said, “I—how—would you—how does coming back to my place sound to you?”

Kravitz could see his own cheeks, his smile had grown so large. And he should have felt embarrassed—for Queen’s sake, he was too fucking old to be infatuated like this—but he was just relieved that the date wasn’t over yet.

“I’d love that.”

So, Kravitz cut a portal and hoped he’d be lucky enough to get another hour or two of Taako’s company.

Taako snorted a little when he realized where Kravitz had put them. “What’s the point of being able to put a portal anywhere if I have to unlock the door anyway?” he teased, shoulders not lowering a centimeter.

Kravitz swallowed unnecessarily. “I...I didn’t want...to presume.”

Taako looked at Kravitz for what felt like a long time. “Huh. Okay,” he said, finally with a shrug, reaching up and holding his bracer to a panel next to the door, making a...masturbatory gesture with his wrist. The door clicked, evidently unlocking at the motion.

Kravitz couldn’t help but laugh. It absolutely tracked with Taako and his teammates. “Classy. Urbane, even.”

Pushing the door open, Taako grinned. “I’d blame Merle, but I definitely had a hand in choosing that.”

Kravitz chuckled. “Yes, I’m sure your hand was very involved in that.” Taako groaned. “But I don’t think anyone would think to try that instead of something...sensible, so it’s effective enough.”

Taako stretched out an arm to shut the door behind them. “Can I hang up your cloak for you?”

“Sure,” he said, turning around and shrugging the cloak into Taako’s hands to be hung up on the rack near the door. As he did so, he looked around the common area, finding it extremely mismatched and surprisingly tidy. A crocheted blanket abloom in a riot of orange, red, and greens folded along the back of the couch. A couple of bowls in the sink. A bright yellow book explaining rogue skills open on the low wooden table in front of the couch. A deep red rug with elaborate embroidery. A wooden box on a tall, round table near the hearth that Taako brought ablaze with a flick of his hand. A few tall green plants around the room. It was homely, in every sense of the word, but something was off.

Taako cleared his throat. “Would you like something to drink, bones? We’ve got some of that Malbec we had at dinner last week. Or I can steal some of Magnus’s bourbon, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

Kravitz shook out of his focus at the sound of Taako’s voice. “The wine sounds good, thank you.”

Taako nodded and went into the kitchen area, pulling glasses from the cabinet and wine from a space under the island, pouring them silently. The silence made Kravitz...nervous. Apprehensive. Taako generally kept up a breezy discussion as he did anything. It suddenly occurred to Kravitz as he walked further into the room that Taako had planned this. He had the wine Kravitz had raved about in the apartment. The cloak rack that had been overflowing when he’d been here to discuss their escapades in Refuge had one cloak on each hook except for the two Taako had just filled with their cloaks. The table in front of the couch had been piled with books and equipment. Kravitz idly wondered where Taako had put everything.

Then, Taako went over to the wooden box near the hearth and music began to softly float through the air, one of the pieces the Goldcliff Orchestra had played when Kravitz had taken Taako on their third date. He brought Kravitz his wine and flopped down on the couch as if all this wasn’t a part of the evening as carefully crafted as his outfit. He patted the cushion on his right. “Care to sit, Krav?”

Kravitz did so, taking a sip from the glass and staring into the fire that Taako had stoked, gathering his thoughts and not daring to look Taako in the eye for fear that he would lose his nerve. “I enjoy your company, you know?”

A startled laugh squawked out of Taako. “Of course you do, hot stuff!” he exclaimed. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“I’m not sure,” Kravitz said, “but you didn’t need to go to all this trouble to make me happy to be here.” And he turned to look at Taako, needing to see his expression.

Taako sniffed, eyes widening slightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, taking a gulp of wine from his glass. “It’s just a drink and some music, my man.” His eyes flitted from Kravitz’s to his glass and to the fire in quick succession.

“It isn’t _just_ anything, and I appreciate it.”

Taako’s startled look lessened somewhat, but his eyes still weren’t meeting Kravitz’s for very long. Kravitz leaned back against the couch and stretched his arm along the back for balance, holding himself at such an angle that he can still see Taako, but isn’t directly facing him. Forcing direct eye contact might convince Taako to end the evening, so he drank from his glass, and eyes on the crocheted blanket, he asked, “Where did this come from? It’s...interesting.”

Taako turned to look at the blanket and rolled his eyes. “Interesting is a word. Merle made that. Ugliest fucking thing I’ve ever kept warm with. He took up crochet after we met Istus and of course, that would be the yarn he would buy. I’ve threatened to set it on fire, but apparently, it will just melt to the fuckin’ couch and I don’t want to deal with that mess.”

“Melt?” Kravitz asked, incredulously, taking his hand off the blanket.

“Yeah, apparently whatever it’s made out of melts if it comes into contact with fire.” Taako noticed Kravitz’s hesitance and smiled. “You’re good to touch it, homie. You’d have to want to burn it and you’re a cold boy anyway.” After Kravitz replaced his hand on the back of the couch, Taako told Kravitz more about Merle and Magnus descending into the fiber arts, Magnus trying to wield knitting needles like rapiers. As he went on, gesturing with his wine all the while, he sunk further into the couch and toward Kravitz and by the time the fire had almost burned out, Taako was practically flush with Kravitz’s side under his arm, both of their glasses on the table.

And after Kravitz’s laughter at the image of Magnus’s unintentional 30 foot scarf died down, they both fell silent, Taako staring into what remained of the fire. “People generally...don’t, you know,” Taako said, after a while.

Kravitz had no idea what he meant, but he could tell from Taako’s tone that it was about their earlier, stilted conversation, so he took a moment to recover from the sudden change in subject, placing his left hand between Taako’s shoulder blades and asked, “Don’t what?”

Taako turned to look at him directly, full in the face, more sustained eye contact than Kravitz had ever received before. It was heady to the point of being overwhelming to have his full attention. “Don’t appreciate it. Don’t notice it when I’m doing something for them. Don’t enjoy my company either, really. They like looking at me or what I can do for them, but they don’t enjoy me. Not for any length of time.”

Kravitz cocked his head to the side, eyes squinting. “I find that extremely hard to believe.”

“Yeah, well. That’s how it is.” He paused for longer than usual, but Kravitz could sense he wasn’t done talking, so he waited while Taako looked back into the fire and said, softer now, “I’ve never made it to a seventh date before. And—not to make this Taako’s Terrible Pity Party™—I don’t expect to make it much further here.”

Kravitz, baffled by this assessment, replied quickly, “Why? I—I ve—I would very much like to continue seeing you. Did I...do something?” 

Taako shook his head firmly. “No, you didn’t do anything. It’s a fuckin’ cliche, but it’s not you; it’s me.”

Kravitz paused and placed his other hand on Taako’s knee, facing him head on, knowing he was getting close and would probably reach Taako’s breaking point with this. Talk of the future had always been glossed over or met with Taako saying goodbye and he knew it wasn’t his best tactic for keeping the evening going, but he couldn’t let Taako think anything other than that Kravitz was absolutely enamored with him, so he barrelled on. “You’re—you make me laugh and feel...alive in a way I didn’t think was p-possible for me. And you’re brilliant, Taako, the way you think around—through things and—”

“I wasn’t fishing for compliments,” Taako interrupted, smiling wryly, covering Kravitz’s hand with his own, drawing out the same fire he had the very first time that had set his mind ablaze, “as much as I do dig ’em, sweet thing. I can tell that you like me, that I swept you off your feet, or what the fuck ever, but that doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way.”

Kravitz wanted to argue, wanted to prove that wasn’t true, but he didn’t know how other than to say, “I’m not going anywhere. Unless you want me to.”

Taako continued to half-smile at Kravitz, one side of his mouth drawn up, eyes soft and watching, leaning forward to hold Krav’s forearm. “I know you believe that. But good things don’t...last. Not for me. And I’d be a fucking moron if I didn’t see you as a good thing in my life. And I know I—I know I run away from conversations like this, hide from being...from seeming like I care, like I’m invested, and I’m trying to not do that right now, but gods, it feels like I’m lifting up my shirt and showing you exactly where to stab me to do the most damage, telling you it’s just right here under my ribs, so...it’s hard.”

Kravitz nodded, fingers of his left hand splaying on Taako’s back as he rubbed him there absently and contemplated...all of that, eyes searching Taako’s. “Take all the time you need. It’s alright...if you can’t talk about it.”

Taako shook his head, huffing a soft breath. “Except it’s not, my dude. You’re just too good to say so.” He ducked his head down, chin to his chest as he swallowed and then looked up briefly with another shake of his head. “If I didn’t say anything, didn’t—didn’t let you—didn’t talk to you about this, there’s no way you’d stick around.” Taako closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, facing his own lap, looking for all the world like he might cry. “It would—you would be another person who left m—and I...that’s the last thing I want.”

Something in Kravitz’s chest clenched at those words, hope crawling out of the pit in his stomach and clawing up to collect in his throat. “I promise you, despite all evidence to the contrary when we met,” he said, with half a chuckle, “I can be patient. And I will stick around until you are comfortable. Don’t rush on my account.”

Taako opened his eyes and said, “To be honest, I kind of want to go hide in my room.”

Kravitz smiled, raised his right hand to collect a stray tear with his thumb and stroked that thumb across his cheekbone. “Then, sweetheart, you do that and I’ll head out.” He made to stand up, removing his arm from around Taako, hands retreating to his knees to brace himself when Taako stopped him with a hand around his elbow.

“I’d like it if my boyfriend came to hide with me.”

Kravitz’s face went absolutely slack. He recognized Taako’s statement as a gesture, an offering in his open palm. He’s glad he’s no longer facing Taako, because he can feel his mouth gaping in surprise and he’d like to maintain some facade as a steady and respectable adult who doesn’t respond to words like _boyfriend_ with wonder. He’s glad he gets to turn back to Taako with a smile grown too large and say, “I’d love that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Despite Taako’s protests, his bitch ass is doing secret embroidery on his hats, don’t let him fool you into thinking Istus didn’t inspire something in him too. Magnus’s accidental 30-foot scarf is actually autobiographical. It’s a long story, but it’s a real lesson in doing test swatches before you just cast on more than 1000 stitches. Merle’s crocheted blanket is vaguely based on [this](https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/housewarming-throw), although I imagined it with more orange. The conversation about cats being death criminals inspired by [petalade](https://petalade.tumblr.com/)’s [amazing art](https://petalade.tumblr.com/post/176396718994/).
> 
> I wrote this months ago, holding onto it in hopes of gaining more of a backlog of fic before I started posting again. But I'm in grad school and I got tired of waiting for validation. No beta because we die like men, but also hit me up if you're interested in my intermittent TAZ bullshit.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://deepcomplaint.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/deepcomplaint) @deepcomplaint. And if you want to hear my other Taakitz song inspirations, you can find those on Spotify [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/67dmf1sdyz1rk985apcupq7t7/playlist/0Zvxw3XE2HppL9kNR4R9hW?si=Xa33s5cDSlaH2iKVMeVBfA).
> 
> Thank you for reading! I love you!


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